


moonlight sonata

by momentsoftruth



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Angst, F/M, happy birthday to him, kou has a dream, they better be canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-27 19:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15691740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentsoftruth/pseuds/momentsoftruth
Summary: But under the light of this moon, as it glows, all I'll ever want to be is yours.





	moonlight sonata

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to Kou, and though this is a very poorly written, depressing gift, I found this in my phones notes section and decided “why not”. This is the very first time I’ve uploaded anything here, so I’m sorry about what a disaster it is! I hope you can enjoy it for what it is + thank you so much for reading; I do hope I get better with time.

She didn’t speak — she never did. 

He felt so many words on the tip of his tongue, some questions, others answers, others things he knew he’d never have the courage to say to her under the light of the sun. When he opened his mouth, a feeble attempt to try, his voice failed him and he released a breath instead, everything he wanted to say now gone with the wind of the cold November night. Could words really mean anything, he thought, when she wasn’t even real?

Kougami watched her stare straight up at the sky and wondered how his mind managed to paint her in such a realistic fashion. Maybe because the memory of her was so fresh in his mind after Shambala float, or maybe it was because he’d never truly be capable of forgetting the delicate roundness of her face or how breathtaking her eyes looked under the glow of a full moon. He couldn’t forget. 

She turned to him, and he felt his stomach do an unbelievable amount of flips and Kougami dangerously let his mind think: is this what love feels like? The urge to touch her face, to have her touch him, to feel their skin against one another and then never experience a day without that feeling? 

He shouldn’t have asked, because now that he did, there was really no going back. It was concrete now, a solidified fact — the things, the people he ran from when awake were the very same ones that visit him in his nightmares and make a joke out of the fact that he liked to suppress them. 

That’s exactly what this was: a joke, and he wasn’t laughing. It wasn’t funny when Akane stepped closer, and it sure as hell wasn’t funny when she extended her hand. 

Like a fool, Kougami drew in a sharp breath, anticipating, waiting, needing to feel the contact, would give anything for it even when he knew he didn’t deserve her touch. He never could. 

Honey brown eyes gazing into blue like they were all they knew, all they wanted to know and her hand was now so close to his face. Despite himself, in the very last moment, Kougami let his eyes fall shut, awaiting the sheer ecstasy that would take him once he felt her softness against his rough cheek. 

But it never came. 

He shouldn’t have reopened his eyes, he shouldn’t have. 

He shouldn’t have. 

The white dress stained with red, the eyes so full of life just moments ago were dead and hollow as she lay against the cool ground and stared back up at him, but this time much differently than she had been staring before. 

Every cell in his body screamed at him for oxygen, choking with agony and the urge to get to her. To somehow bring colour back to her rapidly paling skin and find a way to revive her desaturated eyes. His feet felt glued to the ground because of course they did. 

When had he ever walked when he was supposed to? He always seemed to fail her, always. A sense of anguish, more so than pain, tool control of his heart, and he was extremely light-headed, because this would forever be his fate: suffering, the terrifying fear that he was miles away and she would someday just be gone without saying goodbye, and it would forever be his fault. 

Thunder roared when he was brought back to his less cruel reality. 

The ground underneath him was hard, the brick wall he was sat against seemed to dig into his back, as if to remind him where he was.

Akane didn’t die out on the floor across from him; she was no longer here. 

For the third night in a row, Kougami woke up with his heart beating out of his chest and a fear of closing his eyes, but this time was different. Because he cried that night with the comfort that the raindrops could help him keep a secret.

He shouldn’t have asked, he shouldn’t have opened his eyes — he’ll try never to close them again.


End file.
